What Is This Life We Live?

Listen.

Why is it that now that spring is over, all these spring flings are over? Is it time for summer romance? Meeting a hot guy down at the beach and just having fun knowing that when summer is over, you'll forget about it and go on with life. Is that how it is? A lot of people seem to be seeking more attention during the summer, it's made clear by the low cut tops, and the low riding jeans you see on girls. I would mention that guys are walking around without shirts on showing off their abs, but I guess I sort of find that normal.

I don't find it weird that girls are wanting to seek attention, I just find it stupid that they think the only way is by looks. I used to care a lot about looks. But not like the obsessive oh-my-God-is-a-hair-out-of-place? but more just a, do I look mature? Do I look decent in comparison to others? Must cut down on fatty foods and exercise... kind of way. Why is it that we rely on looks to get us through life?

I'd be find to just be a bum, wear plaid everyday and have a tear in my jeans that was from wearing them so often, and not purposefully there. What's the point in wearing jeans like that when you're paying $80 for something you can do at home with sandpaper and paint. I don't see the point when you can get a perfectly good pair of jeans, hole free, for about $6 at Goodwill.

Why do we pay so much for good looks now? We want to stand out, be different and be noticed for once. Can't everyone look the same at school and just be there to learn? I think uniforms are an amazing idea, minus the fact girls have to wear skirts. But, I'd deal with that, and get used to that. I'm really glad that at our school no one is really flaunting wealth and status.

Haha. What am I kidding? Lots of people flaunt it at our school. However, I'm hoping that most of it is unintentional. Speaking of school, I can't believe that VSAA is losing so many teachers at the end of next year. Chartrey and Ms. White. I just can't believe that. I mean, I've been with Ms. White since kindergarten at Hough for arts block. And now she's retiring.

She's taught me a lot of life lessons. And she's a wonderful teacher that has affected so many students lives. And now she's leaving. But, I guess that was inevitable. She's been saying that she'll retire soon anyway, and now it's finally happening. And I can except that.

But, what I don't want to accept is that O'Bannion thinks Chartrey is more suited for River than for VSAA. I feel like he'd be so much better there. River students are probably used to change, but we're such a small school. And most students will have to adjust to a new band teacher, even though Chartrey has been there since their first year of band, and now changing teachers.

I mean, I know how much substitutes annoy me because it messes up the repetition of life. So, think about after 5 years for some, a new band teacher. That's sure to mess them up. But, maybe it's for the better. Maybe River really does need him more. I guess I don't want to accept that O'Bannion requested he go to River.

I suppose it's time to put new strings on this old guitar. I guess it's just time for change. But too many things are changing at the moment. It's hard to grasp onto ideas. Facebook is changing constantly, I'm changing constantly and so are you. And sometimes change isn't a good thing. It's scary when everything starts changing all at the same time. You don't know what to expect.

When you turn the corner, you don't know if it's safe or if someone is waiting to jump you and steal your lunch money. You just don't know. And all this uncertainty is driving me crazy. What am I suppose to think? Know, feel, be catch, release, throw, do, make...? What am I?

Am I just a pawn in this giant complex chess game you happen to be playing? Or am I your king (No, I know I'm not a guy, but this is my analogy.), and your only goal is to protect me? Or do you consider me a knight? And I protect you, the defender. What am I to you? What am I to the world? What is this master plan that I have no knowledge about?

Can I just not understand, because it's easier on my tiny brain? And also, I think my Internet is trying to tell me something by constantly disconnecting. I should continue on in studying for my final, but I found about 5 chapters worth of notes, so if there's only about 4 more to cover, I figure I can take some time off to hammer out a nice blog post and listening to amazing music by Sara Bareilles.

I'm not sure what to do with today, though. I want to go do something, but without my bike, there isn't far to go. Perhaps I'll go down to the park, and read some. Reading is always a good thing. It allows us to grow. But here's a thought book related: I would like, just once, for a teacher to say, "Class read this book because it's amazing. Don't analyze it. Just read. At the end of (whenever) we shall have a class discussion and a vocab test." Because, we should stop with the analyzing of books. It makes me want to not read them, and dread the test that comes after it. So, let's just read a book because it's a good book.

That's what I'm going to go do now. Read a good book, because I think it's a good book. Olivia Joules and the Overactive Imagination.

Well reading for a little bit was nice, but it's way too quiet outside. There was no one out there. Just an empty field. It was weird. Perhaps I'll go back to internet games and laundry. If I get enough laundry done, I can go to Pop Culture tonight.