Nostalgia

I guess I'm okay,
comparatively.
I guess I'm okay,
considering all things.
I guess I'm okay,
overall.

So many memories are pushing themselves into my mind, and I don't know how to sort through them all and place them to the right moment. They all blend, and they all crash. Memories that I've made at VSAA and memories that I've made with the people I go to school with.

Memories from sixth grade, like the one of TJ and his chocolate milk. And how Carr had us go around in a circle and introduce ourselves, and I said, "Hi. I'm me." And how because we talked so much Galeno separated us to different tables. I sat with... I don't remember. But I didn't talk. And I remember there was one time when I went to talk to stupid, and Mitchell Anderson, he called me stupid and annoying. Stuart laughed and I took offense. And, Angie Noack, best buddy in my opinion. She never forgot me.

And...

Memories of seventh grade, like Boston throwing up in MIA, after he said he wouldn't. And also in MIA, I beat Trevor at a Sudoku puzzle, even though I was helping him more than working on my own. And Tami in theater with Goff... "You smell good. You smell... tasty." And Boston drew this amazing poster when we studied religion in humanities. (Do you still have it, Boston, dear?) Oh! And Buddha and God in math class.

And... and...

And eighth grade, which doesn't seem that far away... Ms. White pulling me out in the hallway and asking me about my "relationship" (Yes, she used air quotes.) with Aaron. And the stupid core projects teachers put us through. And hanging out with Brooke Schnieder and making cupcakes. And emails, and the science project with Busch. I did Vitamin K (aka Potassium). And... and... Just everything good and sweet. (Like birthday parties where we get kicked out of movie theaters.)

And this year... Birthday parties, friends, mental breakdowns, biking, random parties,
and inside jokes:
Bang!
Yersh, your face is tweaked. (Wait, isn't that last year?)
dOn't think i'd fOrget this One. memorable. Oh yeah. dOn't yOu fOrget.
"You and your... Beyonce?"
And some I don't honestly remember that much...?


It's amazing to think that the beginning of school wasn't just last month. Wow, it's gone by in a flurry since I got my acceptance letter. A little too fast for me. There's no time to think anymore. There's no down time, something is always happening. And nothing I do can slow it down, nothing at all. All I can do is get swept up in the current.

And I'll get swept up in the current of emotions on the last day of school, because after that things will change. Things will be different. More exciting, more terrifying. I'm not really sure how my ability to handle it will be... It'll probably fall. I'll probably cry, I'll probably laugh. I will most likely caught up in a tidal wave of nostalgia. I'll bring my camera, take pictures, and remember the days.

I'll give hugs to as many people as I can. And just because I'm leaving doesn't mean that I still wont come back to visit. And when I do visit, I wont be every other month, it'll be more. Or at least I hope so. But I can't make promises that I'm not sure I can keep. I'll try my hardest to stay in touch, there's always Facebook. And most phones still work. At least I know mine does.

But there's so much I want to say to each and every person I see in the hallways, but... I just don't have enough time. As the day are being counted down, I'm wish that people would slow down... Things are moving too fast, and I'm getting startled by the sudden rapid pace. Can't we just relax... On the last day, I know I'm going to be wishing for another day. And if I got another day, it have me wishing for another day.

But... It's summer. Although it doesn't feel like it, it feels like spring. Like school shouldn't be getting out but instead we're going towards spring break. What happened to our beautiful that made it more believable that school is out on Tuesday. Can't we just slow down?

Can't I just have one more day?